What was the reason we seek for professional opinion on adik? I do not remember since bila tapi my instinct rasa macam something. Tak tahu nak explain perasaan tu macamana actually. Bukan la rasa macam something is not right or not normal tp “something”. It started to alarm me bila panggil his name dia tak ada respond, not totally takde respond sebab sometimes bila panggil tu dia toleh juga. Tapi takde la rasa macam off” sangat sebab kakak dia dulu pun macam tu that she did not respond to name calling, average eye contact, did not address us as mamme and adih, did not say a word but cried instead every time she wanted susu. For adik, bila dia lambat berjalan dan meniti berjengket, belum pandai bercakap or panggil us or approach us kalau nak sesuatu.. instead dia cuma nangis dan hentak kepala, suka pusing tayar and bila pandai sikit lay on his stomach main kereta which is a must kalau main kereta, attach dengan selimut dia to the extend menangis kalau selimut takde.. masa tu aku makin rasa something is off. Kalau compare perkembangan dia dengan kakak dia, lebih kurang sama except for the part lambat berjalan, suka benda berpusing dan head banging which kakak dia xde buat.
Apa expectation aku masa jumpa doktor? Frankly speaking.. it was a 50/50 for me. 50 for all the delay on his motor skill, communication and head banging and another 50 sebab he look fine for a one year++ boy except for that 50 i mentioned earlier. People say boys blossom later than girl, right?!
How do i feel masa doktor pakar terus confirm he is autistic even on the first time seeing him on a session that did not last even 10 minutes and all based on our interview with her sub-ordinate? To be frank, tak de la terkejut dengan diagnose tu tapi terkejut dengan how he was been diagnosed tu, yes. The younger doktor mula2 bagitau based on her assessment adik needs more further assesment and some therapy session to confirm wether he is really autistic although through her assessment adik did show some of the autistic charater. Then she consult and explain tu her pakar, after not even 10 minutes with minimal talking to us.. the pakar asked me what was our concern bringing adik for the assesment. I said my concern and she told me what she saw is adik meet the autistic criteria and she said she can confirm it, right now, as we spoke. She then proceed to tell us that adik need OKU card and will proceed to set an appointment with Children Developement Centre CDC for OT and speech teraphy.
How do i feel about the doctor? I dont know.. maybe her approach on conveying the news to us was like that because of my cool and understanding reaction to hearing adik was diagnosed as autstic, that i did not cry my heart out and show her i was extremely in denial about the news.. maybe?
But i think she could do better and add in more human touch. Maybe she could just told us that she was sorry that the news was shocking to us… especially when the diagnose was made when adik was only 1year and 9th month.. not even after his two years. Maybe she could just explain and say something that sooth our aching heart instead of saying “yes,i just confirmed it now” after i asked her why was the diagnosed confirm when adik is not even 2 years old. Maybe she did not have to mention about the OKU card first, instead of last on her news breaking. I really dont know how to process the situation and it still ache my heart to recall the moment.. or maybe it was not how the doctor handle the situation that time that hurt me, but i was because i was frustrated with the diagnose instead.. i really dont know…
