As I  was relaxing at my cubicle, saw someone that I adore entered the office ; my idol. As I was walking out of my relaxing zone, my idol was just about to come to my place. Speaking of nervousness, I pretended I was doing something. Cheh! And the stories goes on...

Well.. I don't really enjoy today. Someone scared me and I don't like to be left alone with that person.

I watched The Karate Kids  and loove it! The story was a bit slow but it was kinda forgivable because of Jaden Smith. God, the boy is so cute. He surely will become one handsome playboy one day.

Why I became mechanical engineer?

Here is the one fact that I myself is so darg clear of.. I HATED MATHEMATICS and don't ask me why. I was History's subject lover and I excelled at that, but what involving calculations I loathed.

It all started when I was 15. I qualified to be in a science stream class. So, I have a talk with my dad where I voice out my opinion of taking a non-science class. My dad, as usual will let me make the decision, BUT.. as smart as he always is.. he said.. "I have no objection towards whatever you likes,  and you know the decision is all yours, but bear in mind, science's stream definitely offer big market for jobs" With that... I ended up choosing science's stream ya'll. But truth is.. I never knew what I wanted to be since I was a naive-little girl but I knew best where I wanted to be.

I went to boarding school at peninsular because I wanted to meet my favorite boy band, 4U2C back then and I applied engineering because I wanted to study at UTM, well.. I entered ITTHO but ITTHO and UTM is related back then.  So, the kesimpulan is, I became a mechanical engineer because of the place!

How do I describe a perfect life?

Well.. in my humble mumble mind..

1st.. be one successful career woman; a technical-guru, sporting & sempoi boss!  Well.. speaking of current, i'm kinda on the right track because I loved what I am doing now. So, everything that start from a good beginning is a bless, rite?..

2ndly, Family..  2 be married to someone smart and always making sure he is on top of his game like Dr Mahathir; which look as handsome as Grey's Anatomy Eric Dane..  being a mother to one complete-soccer-team of sons who look like the twin, Cole and Dylan Sprouse.. also Nick &  Joe Jonas.. Then completed with two daughters who look exactly like Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez.. that is the definition of PERFECT! Ok, at the moment I kinda miss the boat coz I have not find someone I wanted yet. Heart  matters is not something simple. I was asked few times why don't I just attach myself to someone. To choose a guy is like buying a property to me, like a land or house.. i don't want to waste my time on something I end up regretting having it or to have to stay with someone  I dont really wanted to be with. I'd rather be alone then making myself doing that. I am girl full of love and i am committed to it. But, never mind.. things will work out itself.. I  believe that.

3rd, to own tons of long sexy dress! a TONS!
i am a fan of it, and jackets too.

Well.. i think that just it. I am not all about big house or being rich or powerful what ever... I am just a girl with a simple wish, desiring to enjoy a simple life with lots of sons and two daughters. I loved boys, I am gonna be making lots of them.. twins preferably..hahaha. I loved Miley Cyrus.. she is one beautiful daughter and Selene Gomez is sooo cute!  Wait.. maybe it is not one simple life, is it? Yeah..blame it to Disney Channel.But.. way to go girl!

Guess my dreams isn't simple :)

Men were the architect  of their own fate..  I agreed.. as Muslim,  I believed everything happened if it were granted by god. We could plan, we could do whatever we want but if god did not permit it, then that just it. Everything happened for a reason but we need to remember, God will never change our fate unless we do it first. I am  changing mine of course :)

Why am i being ustazah today? douh!

Shakira - wherever whenever Cover

It was funny when Af1 asked me.. Which country did this singer came from coz she didn't sound English.. Hahaha..

I'm walking away

I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away

sometimes some people get me wrong
when it's something I've said or done
sometimes you feel there is no fun
that's why you turn and run
but now I truly realize
some people don't wanna compromise
well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies
and well I don't wanna live a lie, too many sleepless nights
not mentioning the fights, I'm sorry to say....

A long and tiring day indeed. da dekat kol 11 mlm, still mengadap kerja. Today is "My home my office" day.  Dah la ari ni ari malas nak layan orang. Ader konsaltan seruper takder. Sengal! Nak marah  pun, buang tenaga aku jek. Aku dahla memang x mampu nak marah orang.. kang aku termarah kang..haa.. Elok le aku p mandi manda jap.

Sambung balek.. Segar le sikit pas dah mandi ni. Sok ramai yg takde.. Skarang aku dah ada nama baru, kalo dulu RSenora panggil aku matahari..skarang ade plak yg panggil aku Yang kat opis tu. Nasib le aku ni jenis yang memang malas nak ambik kesah. Sukati la, as long korang bahagia.. Jangan over, sudah. Aku ni pemarah orangnya, tapi aku tak reti nak marah. Kalo aku cakap aku marah kat orang, maknanya aku marah2 ayam jek tapi kalo aku tak bercakap langsung pasal orang tu or avoid any conversation yang melibatkan that person, means aku memang dah letak orang2 tu dalam recycle bin memori aku. Ikut ati nk delete terus, tapi benda 2 di luar kawalan aku plak.

Tapi smpai today aku still berterima kasih dalam diam2 pada someone yang ajar aku how to be someone yang pemarah tapi tak payah le nak buang karan marah orang. Aku juga berterima kasih dalam diam pada someone yang pemarah tahap gaban yang telah mengajar aku bahawa muka orang yang sedang marah amat huduh & kalah buldog sampai aku taknak contohi. Juga a big thank you to someone yang grumpy, yang mengajar aku grumpy woman is worse than nenek kebayan. Moga aku tak kelihatan seperti bulldog @ nenek kebayan.. Ahahah.

 "Pa.. aku try call bapa tapi nda dapat pula. Saja mau ucap Selamat Hari Bapa. Sayang bapa"

Tell  your parents that you love them while you still can. Well.. walopun setahun lagi nak masuk 30, a daughter remain as a little children inside their parents heart.

 So, I reached Rompin..finally, for the first time.. What a day. So sleepy at the moment.. Goodnight world!

Happy Father's Day to all fathers in the world..
Epecially to my one and only beloved father.....

A daughter could get another boyfriends.. another husbands.. another sons.. but always only one DAD. For everything that you and mom sacrificed for us, Thank-You is beyond word

Well.. straight to today's story.. As I was about to leave for during lunch, someone asked me why i went down alone and where are my groups. The question came with statement that my unit members ,THE MECHANICAL which is from the boss to the last one on the hierarchy were always seen together2. This is the second time i heard this statement this week.. I heard people mention about that few times before but this is the first time, twice in a week.

Well.. In my unit, i can tell you that there were no one is playing bosses, groupie or what so ever. Of course there was a bad seed but, it was not bad gila pun, maybe just a defect..hahaha. Besides eating and joking, we normally discuss about work at the table. We update each other and share whatever we encountered on our daily job. Breakfast or lunch was the best time to do all that coz when we were at the office.. We will not have enough time to bother about each other. I remembered Aboss once suggested us to have a coffee corner.. Besides having some time to spent together talking about work and life, the idea was best to prevent us from going out for breakfast..ahahah. Clever!

... as far as i could remember, we have been doing the together2 from my first day at the office... We talked, we laughed, we kutuk people but never kutuk  the gang (kutuk depan2 sudaa), that definitely is a rules to maintained ;p

I was asked by someone today, was he annoying?
He asked me, kalau orang perempuan ni if laki di khawin 2 dia dapat apa ye?

I am as clever as you la brader and easily understand what are u trying to imply

Rightnow, since i am so sleepy..
I better zzzzz...and just forget
EVERYTHING

Do I want to go back to LA again?
I don't know...

I mean.. I love the place..

Today.. my deary AF1 said I don't have to go to Gua Musang with adik. Happy me. R Senora came from LA to receive his excellent service award here.  The six of us celebrated it at kotak merah during lunch. As usual, I was forced to sing his favorite song.. hahaha. And RMD is there too. We went to PJ on the evening.. last I know I was only home at 10 pm. Well, thanks to a lousy traffic jam that spare us times to catch up on our stories.

And I miss home.. I miss mum.. and dad.. and home..

Chop! Did i just made someone had a crush on me till he behave oddly towards me? OH NO.. No V.0 on the guy-matter at the moment! I already have one left for me to deal-out.

Enough about that.. Well.. The first thing i did after i reached home this evening was cooking. Yes, COOKING and yes, the i-cooked statement is kinda overrated, i know.

So.. I fried minced chicken, add some herbs, pour a tomato-garlic-selasih sauce and cheese.. Wallah..there goes my bolognese sauce...i boiled water, add in salt and pasta, then i go to take a bath. I always hate this pasta boiling part because it took much longer then preparing the sauce.. why can't pasta be as simple as preparing mee.

I ate and ate and ate.. Ow..heaven! Best bolognese speghetti awarded to Little Italy at KK, 2nd is mine and 3rd is pizza hut. I am sorry, I can't hide the fact here ;p I did try Dominos, Italianese, The Spaghetti Farm, Delifrance, Chillies and some but still, Pizza Hut is the 3rd best.. 2nd of course it  is mine.. Hahahaha x100 megazillions.

So, tomorrow i will be at putrajaya.. The next day maybe at gua musang and how i wish the day after i were in my bed. Nothing is more relaxing other than spending my time in my own room watching movies, cartoon & series or playing a video game or strumming guitar or playing a keyboard..or reading a books while enjoying a cup of hot coffea and, forcing the TV to watch me instead of me watching it. Poor tv!

How to say NO to people without hurting them? I learn it the hardest way, which is from own experience that there was no way to do that without hurting them or getting yourself hurt.

Just recently, i turned down a proposal.. then someone turned me down. Well, who said life is NOT fair? Then.. I am about to do that again to someone, soon or, am i? Yeah, why do i kept shutting-off my heart? Should i just wait till my heart recover or give it a chance? Everything happened for a reason, rite? So..is this the reason?

Demam dah kebah tapi badan still lemah. Makanan still la rasa pahit. Minggu ni terasa berakhir dengan pantas sebab aku keje 1.5 days je. Sedih + demam or sedih sampai demam..yang mana satu aku pun x sure.. Huhu.

Aku cuti lagi hari ni. Walaupun aku hampir nak demam..tp hati aku dah beransur-ansur pulih. Walaupun ada saatnya dada tiba-tiba terasa sesak. Bayangkanlah time tidur, tiba2 boleh terjaga sebab dada rasa sesak & air mata dah bercucuran. It happened during sleep! Kalau skala sedih tu 10, 10 it is for my sadness.

Saat2 macam ni..masih ada rupanya rakan yang ambil berat, yang tiap hari sms tanya aku ok ke tidak walaupun hujung pangkal kesedihan aku ni tak diketahui. Masih ada yang rajin menghibur aku dengan panggilan telefon. Though sadness remain, maybe in 2 or 3 years, or maybe forever.. But i believe that i'm gonna heal and be ok. Walaupun sedih sampai rasa macam nak mati, i owed my sorrow a big time for bringing back something that almost forgotten in this few years. I really hope this feeling inside will last forever, exception for my sadness of course.

One week, i lost 2 or 3 kgs. I still unable to eat properly till now. For a girl who never stop smiling and showing her happy face, the one who seem to not get along well with problems or stresses, guess her saddness and sorrow was unimaginable this time..even for herself.

At the moment ni tgh bersidai kat kedai mamak kat midvali ni. Ari keje midvali..ujung minggu midvali..haru! Lg sejam stengah baru wayang stat..alamat tetido la aku dalam tu karang.

Masalah makan aku da belanjutan ampir seminggu. Abis la. Takat kurus xpe.. Kering jangan. Kang jadik cam osmate lama aku..kurus sebab makan ati. Aku ati memang tak makan..pedal..limpa..smua aku x makan..ahahah.

Lenguh jugak kaki aku meneman adik ni shopping barang umah kat cafo. Kalo terserempak ngan member yang kenal kitaorg ni, silap2 ingat kitaorg asben wef yang tengah beli barang dapur..ahahah. Apa taknya..setroli penuh member tu borong. Aku plak pasrah je membontot dia. Apakah lelaki zaman skarang ni lebih terer soping dari pompuan? Hahaha.

Yeaaa.. audit da berakhir. Next week audit kat melaka plak kot. Kol 5 dari shah alam.. dkt kol 7 baru sampai opis. Aku da setengah mabuk dah tadi.. rakan ZA ngan driver tu da cuak. Siap suh bukak tingkap & bagi aku plastik takut2 aku muntah. Ahahah.. Sampai umah, da maghrib da. Asar qada' jek.. nak wat camaner. Jalan jem teruk ari ni. Da la aku buat lawak.. orang isi form lain, aku plak isi form lain. Melu i! Rakan ZA lagi teruk, baru ari ni dia realize apa yang dia buat.. after 5 ari dik oi! punya la lambat dia stat engin

Program tengok wayang aku banyak rupanya.. adik ajak tengok wayang malam ni, rakan ZA ajak tengok ari ahad.. & konsultan aku pun ajak g tengok wayang sabtu. Tp aku rasa..last2 aku tgk wayang kat bilik jek ni nanti. Aku kena la restkan otak aku yg da letih ni.

How should you feel when someone you looked up at, so highly turned to be nothing more than a nobody? The one man who always talked about how no-good and how uncivilized other peoples are while the truth is, he was no better than them? The one who seemed so wise, but he was not at all? Why say much, he was just a nobody!

Well.. skarang ni aku dah tak payah curik koneksi wifi kedai mamak kat bawah 2. Aku da tukau prepaid aku g post paid+data @ 68 hengget je sebulan. At the moment, aku stuck ngan report ni. Tadi bos ajak turun shah alam.. nak lari dari miting la tuh.. Ahaha. Banyak benor audit. Audit dalaman, audit perolehan,audit pembinaan, audit sirim.. audit projek kawan.. kawan audit projek kawan dan bermacam2 lah lagi jenis audit yang merapu meraban. Next week aku kena audit projek kawan. Time kawan tu audit projek aku, time tu la padan muka aku.

Bos aku tu orang yang paling tak rajin la nak ronda2 site. Imagine la.. baru pegi 3 or 4 tempat jek.. bersusun report non-compliance boleh kuar. Orang experience, macam tu la. Kalo yang muda2 ni, round 40 kali pon still tak nampak2 gak apa yang silap. Dahla aku buat gempak kat kontraktor. Tapi sebab aku buat gempak tu la aku dapat tangkap teet.. eheh..

Dalam keta borak2 la ngan bos& rakan ZA. Bos aku kutuk rakan ZA, nama jer budak mekanikal.. tapi minyak itam keta tu pun tak reti tukar..ahahaha.. Bos aku kalo ngutuk.. kaw2! Tapi bukan nak cakap la.. lelaki skarang ni da banyak yang lembik & da tak reliable. Kalo bapak aku.. cakap je.. hal2 repair keta, benda2 mekanikal & letrik.. bertukang.. menjahit.. memasak.. berkebun.. sumer dia terer. Yang aku tak pasti cuma bab toreh getah sebab aku tak pernah nampak dia join mak aku mengisi masa lapang menoreh pohon2 getah dia. Still, bapak is the best! Walopun dia garang, lagi tak romantik.. he is the best guy ever. Boyfren.. asben.. wife.. gepren.. sumer bule di tukar, tapi your parents ader satu tu je. Sobs.. homesick la nih!

Aku sangat berterimakasih pada Allah sebab masih sayangkan aku. Teringat kater2 bos aku tadi, tuhan tak akan duga seseorang yang sememangnya Dia tahu tak mampu nak hadapi dugaan yang diberikanNya. Means, setiap dugaan tu hanya diturunkan pada orang2 yang sememangnya mampu la nak hadapi dugaan tu walau macamana payah pun... walo pun orang tu rasa dia tak mampu tapi sebenarnya orang2 tu lebih kuat dari apa yang mereka sendiri sangkakan. Mungkinkah aku ni tergolong dalam golongan yang kurang mampu menghadapi dugaan?

Diam bukanlah bererti aku mengiyakan apa yang kamu buat. Diam tidak pernah bererti aku suka. Tidakkah kamu terfikir aku hanya cuba mengelakkan konflik? Sedarkah kamu bahawa aku berdiam untuk menjaga air muka dan hati kamu? Pernahkah kamu terfikir yang kamu agak keterlaluan dan perilaku kamu sebenarnya menjengkelkan?

Apakah kamu mahu menguji tahap kesabarana aku? Kerana aku rasional dan berfikir panjang, aku tidak pernah kehilangan sabar walaupun aku sebenarnya kurang sabar. Aku juga mampu jadi seperti kamu, tapi aku tidak memilih untuk berperilaku seperti kamu kerana aku tahu berfikir. Dan aku kasihankan kamu kerana kamu cuma nampak diri kamu.