Today is my not-feeling-so-well day... arrived at office with a dizzy head and felt like I wanna throw up, so I took a nap until 7.55 am. I joined my seniors for breakfast. Today is the beginning of my being-all-alone day. I went to work together with ibu today. Sure it is weird, but it was more weirder to her I guess. Nervous about her first day at work, sleeping at unfamiliar place last night (my house... daaa) while worrying about a plane to catch.. what's more to say.
I ordered coffee, they gave a black one. My TA said it was not a good idea to have coffee so I ordered hot chocolate which is MILO of course, and nasi lemak. Dont say anything,please! On my way down to our eating place, I met the guy from buka puasa day. My look-alike ex bf I mentioned before. Owh! I think he advanced his cuteness today ;p
My branch held a majlis for Hari Raya celebration today which I did not attend. Yeah... I am not interested in such event,especially when i am without girl-companion. I am not good at making friends, and I dont seems to improvise I guess. My technician, which is around my mother's age once advised me about finding jodoh. She said, how am I going to find my jodoh if I dont go out looking for them and avoid joining the crowd. Ibu and ayah also shared the same conversation with me the other day which I think is annoying to hear.
Why is everybody telling me to find a husband? Hello, spare me! It is really annoying, really really annoying. People really are funny! I think, I am more happier than some of them. "You should find one" or "you should have babies" or "I pity you that you are still alone". Well, I am the one who should pity them actually.
People told me that I am gonna be alone if I don't get married and have children. There will be nobody to take care of me. I don't deny the "alone" thing but I think that just proved how short their thinking skill is. People worried too much about too many things and tend to forget how short this life is. God arranged the best for each of us, the fate is written differently and it is only God who allowed things to happen in one's life.
When comes to love, I did not agree with the thinking of owning a child yourself is different from adopting or whatever. The love you have towards your parents is not just love, it is also your thank to God and both of them for having you in this world but, the love towards a child is a responsibility and a thank to your creator for granting such wonderful things to happen in your life. Love is without boundary , you can give them freely. It doesn't matter if the people will love you back because love is without price. "Hanya doa anak yang soleh yang tinggal pabila seseorang hamba itu meninggalkan dunia ini" but people simply build their own limitation to this. God will hear our sincere prayers, no matter to who we meant it for. What anak yang soleh? The fact that they rarely exist now days. We should be thankful for what we have instead of worrying about meaningless things. As said before, fate was written differently. We can try every best we could to get or have what we want in this short journey we called life but only God owned the power to permit or forbid it from happening. Sic!
